Sex and Serenity
by xev
Summary: I've been watching too much Sex and the City, so i must incorporate Firefly. Chapter 3 up. Set to follow Secrets of midsummers. Temporary hiatus from the Simon Kaylee part.
1. Chapter 1

I've been watching too much Sex and the City, and had to incorporate it into Firefly. The language and such reflects that. Naughty words and all that.

"Simon doesn't want me to use my vibrator anymore."

Jia nearly had her drink up her nose. River giggled. Zoe was not so non-judgmental.

"Kaylee, do you really think you should be talking about his in front of his sister?"

"She knows more than that before I tell her anyway."

They were sitting in a café in Persephone that Kaylee had dragged them to.

"I still don't think it's appropriate conversation."

"Lighten up Zoe. If I can't talk about this with you guys who can I talk about it with?"

Zoe had to give her that one.

"Did you give up yours for Wash?"

Jia was pounding on the table with her fist and shaking with laughter.

"I don't think..."

River jumped in, "Don't be such a prude Zoe."

Zoe was tired of being called a prude. "Yes I did."

She paused and everyone nodded.

Zoe sighed, "But sometimes I wish I had it back."

Kaylee was now interested, "Like how?"

"When I'm angry with him or something it would be nice to rub in his face the fact that I don't need him for that."

"So you're saying I should keep it?"

"Yeah."

Zoe was decidedly uncomfortable, but River wasn't done.

"Is Wash fulfilling?"

"I...yes he is and I don't want to talk about this."

Kaylee smiled, "I think it's great. Now we can talk about anything."

"I would rather not Kaylee."

Kaylee waved her off, "How do I get Simon to do more in bed?"

Jia was holding her face in her hands, "Place cards."

"I'm serious. He won't even try anything, and when I try and talk to him, he gets all red faced and mumbles something about not wanting to talk about it."

"And now we know that doesn't work with you."

Kaylee once again waved Zoe off. "I was thinking about just holding him down and making him talk, but that sounds bad."

Zoe knew she wasn't going to get out of this particular topic without helping. "Have you tried just doing things to him?"

"Yeah but I need his participation."

Jia now said, "Hold his pants hostage."

"I'm serious Jia."

"So am I this time. If you are in your quarters he can't put new ones on and he won't leave without his pants. You can make him talk about it."

"That might not be a bad idea."

Zoe was confused, "Holding his pants hostage sounds good but sitting on him doesn't."

"If I just hold his pants hostage, he could technically leave if he really wanted to."

Zoe scoffed, "Simon Tam will never walk around the ship without pants. I'm surprised he takes them off at all."

"That's what makes it perfect."

Zoe had now had enough, "Lets move on to better topics."

River started, "I'm thinking of having sex."

Zoe threw up her hands.

Kaylee smiled, "With who?"

"I have a man in mind but I know Simon won't approve. I was thinking I should wait a year or two. What do you think?"

"Who were you thinking about?"

"I shouldn't say. I'm not certain, but the door said I should."

Jia broke in, "Should you really be doing what inanimate objects tell you to?"

"It is not inanimate, it is a projection of an idea."

"Well, that's different."

Kaylee went back to the subject, "Would you even consider this man if'n the door hadn't told you?"

"Perhaps, the pairing is accurate."

"Then maybe you should."

Zoe was not so sure, "Kaylee maybe you shouldn't say that till we know who it is."

"She ain't a kid anymore Zoe. She's really smart. River'll pick a good one."

"Why won't Simon approve River?"

"Simon does not like him."

Kaylee nodded, "Simon can be pig headed. Took him a year to sleep with me and I was givin out all the signals."

"Once he thinks he is right there is no stopping his logic."

Kaylee shifted her focus, "What about you Jia? You thinking of sexin anyone?"

Jia was thrown by the change in topic, "Absolutely not."

Kaylee cheered, "That sounds like you just don't want us to know."

"Yes that's it. Change the topic."

Zoe wasn't letting this one go. "Who's the leading man Jia?"

"No one. Back off all ya'll."

"Alright, alright. Don't get upset." Zoe turned to Kaylee, "She'll tell us when she's ready."

Kaylee and River giggled and even Jia laughed after a second.

The rest of lunch was bland compared to it's start. The girls left the restaurant when Jia started complaining about the food. They arrived at the ship to find an angry Jayne.

"You're the cook. You're supposed to feed us."

"I left you guys something with instructions."

"Wash burned it."

She turned to the other girls, "They can't even heat something anymore."

They laughed and walked past an indignant Jayne. Jia stopped and offered over her shoulder, "You could have gone out."

Jayne mumbled, "It's raining."

Jia looked out the door, "And you'll melt or what?"

Jayne grumbled and walked away. Jia caught up to her friends. They came to another unhappy face when they reached the galley, Mal.

"Where were you?"

Zoe answered, "Kaylee took us to lunch sir."

"Maybe you should have done your jobs first."

They all protested. Mal held up his hand, "I was talking to the resident cook."

"I gave instructions it's not my fault they weren't followed."

Mal walked away in the middle of Jia's talking. He turned when he heard Kaylee say, "You should have held his pants hostage."

He turned to the four laughing women. Jia answered, "Unfortunately, he wouldn't be adverse to walking around without them."

They continued laughing and Mal walked out of the galley with his head shaking.

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Early the next morning Kaylee skipped into the kitchen to find Zoe, Wash and River chatting with Jia while she worked.

"You might wanna leave Wash."

"Anything you ladies can talk about won't bother me."

"Fine, last night with Simon..."

Wash got up and left.

Zoe laughed, "You just said the magic words Kaylee."

Kaylee giggled, "I didn't think he would want to know. Anyway, I tried Jia's idea and it worked."

Zoe was surprised, "He wasn't mad?"

"He was a little at first but he got over it." She spun around and sat happily in her chair. "Life is shiny."

Kaylee looked over and saw Jia using the knife Jayne had given her. "How is that knife different from any other?"

Jia looked extremely taken back, "This is near the top of the line stuff, Kaylee. It's completely different."

"It looks the same to me."

Jia was flabbergasted. Zoe smiled, "I think you just committed a huge sin Kaylee."

"Didn't know it was that big a deal."

Jia finally spoke again, "It is. It's like saying that a firefly is the same as a G-class freighter."

Now Kaylee was flabbergasted, "Those junk piles are nothing compared to Serenity."

"It's the same thing Kaylee."

"Sorry, I never would have said..."

"Don't worry about it just don't do it again."

"I won't. Serenity compared to a g-class. Ha."

Kaylee then went into why the G-class was so much worse than her Serenity. Everyone else drifted in as she was talking. Wash did finally come back when he saw others go in and not come running out. Kaylee talked through the entire meal about her opinion on other classes of ship versus Serenity.

After the meal Kaylee still sat in the galley talking on about her favorite subject to anyone who would listen. Simon decided to catch up with River to ask her something he had wanted to ask her since the first day they landed on Persephone three days ago.

"River."

"Yes Simon."

"What would you think if I..."

"I would love it Simon."

Simon smiled, "You would?"

"Of course. I've been waiting for you."

"Thank you meimei."

"I love you Simon. So does she."

River watched her brother walk away. She bathed in his happiness for a second before she felt something else. Something she hadn't felt in a long time. She turned towards the cargo bay, "It can't be."

River walked towards the bay and towards that feeling. The doors were open. Mal was talking to Jayne about something that River couldn't concentrate on long enough to listen. She saw the origin of the feeling outside among the crowd. She ran back to get Simon. She wanted to know she wasn't imagining things. She dragged her confused brother to the cargo bay. He saw what she saw. She wasn't imaging things.

Simon tugged on the bottom of his vest and walked forward. He walked past Mal and Jayne and took only one step off the ship. The feeling came closer.

Simon cleared his throat, "Hello Father."


	2. Chapter 2

"Hello Simon."

Simon looked behind him to see that River hadn't moved closer. Mal was over at the intercom. He called all crew to the cargo bay. Simon turned back as he saw them file in.

"Your mother and I have missed you."

"Now that were not wanted right Father."

"Now, Simon, we are family. We can work this out I know we can."

Simon felt Kaylee come up to his left side. "There is nothing to work out. You left us to the wolves without a backward glance."

"That's not true Simon. You and your sister..."

"So you do remember her. I thought perhaps you had forgotten the child you abandoned to get butchered by some Alliance scientists. Isn't that sweet that you remember her."

"Don't you talk to me that way."

"I will talk to you anyway I want. This is Kaylee by the way." He pointed to each crew member in turn, "That's our captain Malcolm Reynolds. That's Jayne. That's Zoe and her husband Wash. That's our cook Jia comforting your daughter, and next to them is Shepherd Book." He turned back to his father. "They have shown us more loyalty and love than you ever did. They are our family now."

"Are you sure you speak for your sister?"

Simon glanced behind to see River burrow deeper into Jia's embrace. "I'm sure. Get out of here. You're not welcome."

Simon turned to leave. His father went to grab Simon's shoulder when Kaylee punched him in the face. He went down.

Behind them Mal nudged Jayne, "That's my girl."

Simon put his arm around Kaylee and led her back onto Serenity. Mr. Tam got up and saw Mal shrug his shoulders as he closed the door.

Simon went straight to his sister. She let go of Jia and hugged her brother fiercely. Simon hugged his sister with one hand and Kaylee with the other. The crew faded back to the rest of the ship and left those three alone. They stood there for a long time before letting go and walking to outside the infirmary where they sat in silence for another long time.

------------------------------------------------------------

Business went back to usual for two days, or at least as normal as it got when they didn't have a job. They were still on Persephone. Mal was getting increasingly grouchy with each day that passed.

Kaylee was in the engine room whistling when Simon entered. This wasn't unusual, but his demeanor was. He was nervous. She stopped what she was doing and went to stand in front of him.

"What's up?"

"I don't exactly know how to say this."

"Just say it Simon you don't have to say anything just right."

"This I might. I love you Kaylee, and I always thought that if I found someone I loved ...this isn;t exactly the ideal location...or time...or circumstances...but I think...I know...I just can't...I mean..."

"Are you tryin to say what I think you are sayin?"

Simon closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He opened his eyes and looked into hers. "Will you marry me Kaylee Fry?"

Kaylee was silent for a moment . Then she squealed and jumped on Simon. He was ready for it so he didn't fall this time. HE put her back on her feet.

"I have to hear the words."

Kaylee got her best serious face on, "Simon Tam, I will."

He took a small box from his pocket, "They haven't unfroze my accounts yet so it's not much."

It was a beautiful, but small diamond. Kaylee started to cry. Simon had come to think of that as a good sign. He put the ring on her finger. She grabbed him and kissed him.

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"River why are we all gathered here?"

River had gathered the entire crew in the galley and shut the door leading to the engine room.

"You will see."

The door was thrown open and Kaylee burst in and screamed, "We're gettin hitched!"

Half the room burst in congratulations. Zoe Wash, Book, Jia and River all congratulated the couple. Jayne and Mal sat there.

Jayne said to Mal, "That it?"

"Looks like."

Jia was right next to Mal. She leaned down and put her hand on Mal's arm, "Would it kill you to be happy for them for a second?"

"It might. Better not chance it."

She gave him a glare that gave no quarter to his joke. He smiled at her in his most endearing way. She tightened her grip on his arm for a second. "Be nice."

He sighed and got up. He went over to Kaylee and gave her a hug. He shook Simon's hand while offering his congratulations. He went back over to Jia, "Happy now?"

"Ecstatic."

"Good, I got work to do." He left.

Jia turned her gaze to Jayne.

He pointed at her, "Ain't no way you gonna get me to ..."

"You wanna eat without wondering what's on your food?"

Jayne shot up from his chair and went over and gave solemn congrats to the happy but now confused couple. Everyone else gave Jayne a confused look except Jia who smiled. He left the galley mumbling something about his bunk. Jia went back to the celebration.

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Kaylee sat in the galley sitting room surrounded by her three girl friends.

"It's a beautiful ring Kaylee." Zoe beamed. She was so proud of the girl she had come to love as a good friend.

"It's the shiniest thing I've ever seen." Kaylee was beaming even more than usual.

"I hope you two are very happy sweetie." Jia smiled at the younger woman.

"We will be I know it."

River hadn't said a word since she had told them congratulations yesterday. She just smiled sweetly and watched. Kaylee didn't know what to think of River's silence. She didn't know if River was happy for them or upset in some way. She knew Simon had talked to his sister before proposing because she had asked him last night. Kaylee wanted to wait until they were alone to ask her, but River only seemed to be visible when she was with other people.

"I would love to sit here with you but the guys seem to get whiny if the food is late , so I got to get back to work." Jia got up and turned the corner to her kitchen.

Zoe laughed, "They used to be self sufficient, but you have spoiled them. They would starve if'n you got sick now."

Jia scoffed, "Wouldn't doubt it."

Wash's voice could be heard coming from the bridge, "Zoe, can you come here a second?"

Zoe sighed, "Coming dearest."In a side to Kaylee she said, "You sure you wanna get married?"

Kaylee laughed, "You love it and you know it."

Zoe walked out to see what her beloved husband wanted. Now alone, Kaylee leaned over to talk to her future sister-in-law. "You ok with this River?"

River looked up with a confused expression on her face, "Of course, she loves Kaylee. Wants her happiness, as well as brothers."

"It's just you seem quiet."

"Wondering about future. Presence of former paternal figure has confused path. Waited for this forever. Simon needs you."

"I want you to be in this all the way that's all. Don't want you to think I'm keepin him from you."

River smiled, "She would be thrilled if you would keep him from me. He needs a life beyond the past, beyond me."

"I love ya River, you know that right?"

"She knows."

At that moment Jayne walked in, "I'm getting sick of bein' on this planet. All the trim is the same. My John Thomas needs some variety."

Jia was upset "Jayne! How many times do I have to tell you I don't wanna know anything about what goes in or comes out of your pants?"

He had the courtesy to look ashamed. "Sorry, forgot."

"Forgot nothing. This is a kitchen not a bar. Please try to be a little more considerate."

Jayne scoffed, 'You ain't my mother."

"That's right, I'm not. If I was I woulda disowned you long ago and you would definitely be more polite."

Jayne made a face and sat down in his usual spot. He said under his breath, "Maybe it's you who needs to get..."

Jayne was hit in the back of the head by a rag. He swung around to be confronted by an angry chef. "You got something to say to me boy?"

"Maybe I do."

Mal walked in with Zoe and Wash. "And maybe you don't."

"Mal she hit me."

Wash covered his laugh by coughing.

Mal stared at his huge mercenary, "You have to be kidding me."

"She did."

Wash spoke up, "You know the good thing about you Jayne is you have the ability to laugh at yourself."

Jia was back to work. "And the sad thing is he has no choice."

Mal roared, "Enough!" He then thought about it and swallowed a laugh of his own.

Jayne wasn't pleased, "I ain't..."

"Relax Jayne. We should be getting a job soon. We'll be out of here. We got an offer from Badger. The problem is he wants to talk to Jia first."

Jia looked up, "Why?"

"How should I know what that moron wants?"

Jia put down what she was doing and headed towards the bridge. "I'll find out what he wants."

She moved to the vid screen and connected to the number he had given her. It connected immediately. "I knew you couldn't wait to see me again."

"What's up Badger?"

"I hear you're in need of a job. Just a nice coincidence I have one for you."

"Why did you need to talk to me for that?"

"There's a price, love."

Now she was not happy, "What price?"

"Just a nice dinner with yours truly. You and me. Alone."

"You have a sick mind Beaver. I ain't that kinda girl."

"Just dinner love. Nothing indecent."

"Everything about you is indecent."

"Now don't be hurting my feelings. You need a job, I got one. Why can't we just have a nice dinner?"

"Why didn't you just ask me?"

"Would you have said yes?"

"No. But I need to think about this Badger. I'll wave you back."

She shut off the screen before he could respond. She wasn't going to go, but she wanted him to sweat it for a while. She returned to the galley.

Mal looked up, "What did Weasel want?"

"He has a job for us but said I have to go on a date with him."

Mal was upset, "What did you tell him?"

"I said I'd think about it."

"Well, you're not going."

"Who asked you?"

"You ain't whoring yourself for this ship."

"I didn't say anything about that. Just dinner."

"You really aren't stupid enough to think that's all he has in mind."

"No I'm not. And don't you dare call me stupid."

"I wouldn't if'n you listen to what I say."

"I'll do what I damn well please and you can't say a thing about it."

The crew watched the exchange with growing concern. Mal was unintentionally forcing Jia's temper to make her do something it was clear to all of them she wasn't going to do in the first place. River sat in the corner and smiled. They watched as Jia stormed out of the room and to the bridge. They listened as she agreed to Badger's arrangement. They watched as Mal stormed to the bridge and listened as the two had yet another argument. Zoe got up and shut the door between them and the bridge.

Jayne muttered under his breath. "Idiots."

River whispered, "It continues."


	3. Chapter 3

That night Jayne was in the cargo bay with Mal when Wash came up to them. Mal looked at him. "What's up Wash?"

"Wifey told me to come and make sure you behaved when Jia left for her date."

Mal sighed, "I'm not gonna make a scene." He turned to Jayne, "You planted the bug right?"

"Yep."

Wash was concerned, "What bug?"

"You really thought I was gonna let her go unescorted?"

Wash rubbed his forehead imagining telling his wife the news.

"It's just a listening device. I ain't gonna interfere unless he don't mind his manners."

Mal was going to say more when he noticed Wash's focus was behind him.

Wash was beyond real words. All he could do was make a series of sounds. Jayne was looking as well.

"Well, I'll be a horse's uncle."

Mal turned around to see his cook decked out for her dinner. She wore a very simple light grey slip dress that went to her knees, with her hair put off her face by nothing but a strip of the same material. Her feet were not covered by her heeled sandals. Mal couldn't remember something so simple that was so profound.

She walked by the men without a word but with a grin on her face as she passed them. Mal was upset, but waited until after she left to say to Jayne, "She wore that for him?"

"Guess so."

Wash rolled his eyes and left to report to his wife that all had gone smooth. He didn't want to worry her about the bug, her being pregnant and all. It really wasn't a big deal.

---------------------------------------------------

Mal huddled around the receiver to his bug he had Jayne plant. He was stationed across the street from Badger's headquarters. He heard Jia walk into Badger's lair and the criminal's attempt at small talk. He was disappointed that Badger didn't start off on a bad note. He was sure it would get that way though. Soon Jia got down to the reason for her dinner.

"What's the job Badger?"

"All business aren't you darling?"

"With you yes."

"We'll get to that later, first I want to ask you something. What do you really think of your employer?"

"Why do you care?"

"Just wanna know what it would take to steal you away."

"Mal is an honorable man Badger. I don't think you are capable of that. Plus you don't care who you do business with."

"That ain't true love. I refused to deal with your captain once. Thought he was too pretentious."

Jia laughed, "He can be, but I love my job Badger."

"Sure it's your job you love?"

Jia started to get up and was stopped by Badger's hand on her arm. "Sorry love, not the topic for conversation apparently."

"No it's not," She sat back down. "I am not in love with Mal."

"I just know that he thinks very highly of you. Wondered what was going on."

"Nothing. Like I said earlier, he's an honorable man." She smiled, "But I don't suppose you would know anything about that."

"Honor is overrated. Gets in the way of a business man such as meself."

Jia laughed again, "I suppose it would with your clientele."

"Ain't the most honorable criminals I deal with, not the least honorable either."

"Probably not. Why did you bring me here Badger?"

"Can't I have just wanted your stirring conversation?"

"No."

"Alright, you caught me. I wanted to tell you something." He leaned closer, "Reynolds don't deserve you."

Jia sighed, "Badger..."

"Let me finish love. He is too uptight for a woman such as you. You need a man not afraid to tell you what he thinks."

Jia leaned in closer, "Let me guess, you're that man right."

He smiled his half smile. "That would be right love."

"Malcolm Reynolds is not my man."

"He wishes he was."

Jia scoffed, "Right."

"I notice things love, little things. He protects you like a piece of property. You're his and ya don't even know it, and I'm starting to think you like it."

Jia was a little stunned by the turn of conversation. "Mal and I are friends," she paused. "He isn't interested in me."

"Are ya interested in him?"

She didn't say anything for a long time, "No, of course not."

"He'd never be yours love."

"That's not true. Not that I would want... I mean..Ahhhh, you're confusing the issue."

"I can guarantee I'd be yours."

"For the time until you got sick of me and started screwing everything that moved."

Badger smiled. He didn't say anything. Jia laughed. "Let's get back to the job before you make me angry."

Badger shrugged and sat back, "Alright if I must."

He went on to describe a job like none other that the crew of Serenity had ever tried before. Once the listening Mal got into it he liked it, but it wouldn't be easy. He left right before Jia to get back before her. To his dismay, Badger had been a perfect gentleman.

Mal was the only one in the cargo bay when she came back. "How did your date with the weasel go?"

She pulled out a clear piece of film from the bodice of her dress, "Like you don't know."

Jia had discovered his bug. She threw it at him and started towards her room. Mal followed her.

"Did you just expect me to leave you to that degenerate."

She whirled to face him, "Degenerate? He was not the one listening in on my conversation."

"I just wanted to see you safe."

"At least I don't have to tell you about his insane job. You could have trusted me."

"I do trust you, just not him."

"What I do or do not do with him is my business, not yours."

"You really want anything from that...that..."

Jia turned once again and headed for her room. Mal followed her yet again. When she got to her room, she shut the door in his face. Never one to be denied, he opened it and went in. He closed it behind him.

"How dare you come in here."

"It's my ship and my room. You just live here."

"Maybe I can fix that."

Mal sighed, "You really gonna leave over this? Maybe Badger has a job for you. Don't think you'll be doing much cooking though."

Jia was enraged. She reached under her bed and came up with her sword. She presented it between herself and Mal. He instantly backed off.

"If I chose to be his whore it's none of your damn business."

Mal closed the distance between them by one footstep. She brought the sword to his throat, but most of the fire had gone out of her.

"If that's what you really want, then no it ain't my business, but I don't think it's what you want."

"You have no idea what I want."

He spoke in almost a whisper, "I think I do."

She was shocked. Her defenses were weakening.

"Tell me the truth, is he what you want?"

"No."

"Do you really want to hurt me?"

Startled by the question, she didn't over think her answer, "I don't think I could."

"Is there anything between you and Badger?"

"No, not at all. I don't trust him."

He moved a little closer. The sword slid harmlessly to Jia's side. He moved to inches from her.

"Do you trust me?"

"Maybe. Is there anything between you and Inara?"

He shook his head, "There really never was and never will be."

He moved even closer.

She whispered, "So there's nothing in between us?"

Mal smirked, "Nothin besides your sword."

She dropped the sword, and with a clang it hit the floor. They never noticed. His lips connected with hers. He made no move to touch her in any other way. She knew he was waiting for her, trying not to scare her as before. She pressed back slowly and opened her mouth slightly. She brought her hands to rest on his upper arms.

Mal had to stop himself from pressing closer. His hands itched to touch her, but he had to let her lead. It was obvious she had little experience in kissing, so he just encouraged her by responding as slowly as he could. When she moved her arms to around his neck, he couldn't take it anymore. Her body pressed against his was too much. He deepened the kiss and put his hands on her waist. He found himself both wishing she had worn more and thanking God she hadn't. He ran his hands up her back and pressed her to him even more. This time she didn't pull back.

Her mind raced, at first anyway. It swam with consequences and sacrifices, but soon it was overrun with sensation. She tried to just feel for once in her life, and was surprised it worked perfectly.

His mind was racing the entire time. Racing with why thought that had always presented themselves at this time didn't. Why he felt no doubt or awkwardness. Why he didn't feel his sense of wrong at a damaged man touching anyone in anyway. River had been right, she was different.

It was Jia who finally pulled back. "I think... that I should say good night."

He looked into her eyes and saw no regret, no sadness, just passion. She wasn't afraid or ashamed. He was different for her too. He was like nothing else. Nothing else ever felt so right.

He removed himself from her arms reluctantly, knowing she was right. He backed out while still holding one of her hands. He let it go just before he closed the door. He reluctantly went to his bunk, it was gonna be a long night.

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"Explain this job again."

The crew had gathered in the galley the next morning to discuss Badger's offer.

"Badger's friend thinks someone is trying to kill him. He runs a recovery center where people go to get clean of their addictions to pretty much anything. One of us will go in as a doctor and investigate them and one will go as a patient to look at them."

Zoe had questions, "Why us?"

"We are the only ones that would even consider it. And now we got Jia he thinks we are more trustworthy. We also are the only ones that could possibly do it for one reason. We are the only one's in his acquaintance that have someone not wanted for anything." Mal pointed to Jia.

Simon was concerned, "I was a surgeon not a psychiatrist."

"You won't be going. You still don't have a licence."

"Neither do any of you."

"That's where not being wanted helps here. Kaylee, You know how hard it is to get something off the cortex."

"Almost impossible illegally."

"Exactly, but it is very easy to add something."

"Right they don't look at all that."

"So to take off a wanted poster would be impossible, but adding, say a degree in psychiatry would be easy?"

"If'n the person had nothing else on the cortex," Now Kaylee got it. "You gonna send Jia in with a fake degree?"

Zoe looked upset, "She ain't a mercenary Captain."

"I know but she's the only one that could possibly do it. She'll be bugged the entire time so we can solve who did it, and keep her safe."

Zoe thought it strange that Jia hadn't said anything, "You have no opinion on this?"

"It's a good plan and it's worth a lot of money. Besides it should be relatively easy compared to being intimidating."

"Will this work sir?"

"I don't see a lot of other jobs coming our way. Besides, she's right, the plan is solid."

Zoe was also concerned about the lack of fighting between Jia and Mal this morning.

Jayne raised his hand, "If'n she's the doc, who's the patient?"

Mal raised his eyebrows, "Funny of you to ask Jayne, that would be you."

Jayne wasn't happy, "What? Why I gotta go to a nuthouse?"

"It's not a nuthouse, It's a dependancy center, and you are the one amongst us with the most things to give up. Won't kill you to go a week or two without alcohol, smoking or women."

Jayne looked like it just might.

"Besides, we need someone who can protect himself and Jia."

"Why don't you go then?"

"Because I'm a bad liar you know that. I tend to tell the truth to much."

Jia looked at Mal, "I can take care of myself you know."

Zoe was shocked to hear the same argument with absolutely no fire.

Mal responded in the same even tone. "I don't want anything happening to you."

Jia simply smiled at him and looked back to Jayne, "I can help you Jayne, but I need your help too."

Zoe thought she was going mad. Jia and Mal were not arguing, they actually discussed something. Jia wasn't snapping, and Mal wasn't snapping back.

Jayne's mind was on other things, "This ain't fair. Why not anyone else?"

"Zoe's pregnant and won't have the levels of stuff in her system necessary to fool the docs that she needs to be there. Kaylee couldn't make anyone believe she was addicted to anything. Doc's a horrible actor. River can't raise suspicions or Alliance may change their minds about her. Wash barely even drinks. I think I've covered everyone else. Just bare through it and you'll be fine."

Mal did some more convincing before Jayne grudgingly agreed. Zoe was too absorbed by the newfound ease between Jia and Mal that she barely heard. Wash poked fun at Jayne for his part in the new caper. Kaylee and Simon discussed the qualifications they would need to put in Jia's resume. River sat and observed as usual, more at peace then she had been in a while. Mal's thought were not all on the new job. A little was concerned with the woman sitting next to him. Jia thought of her part in what was to come as well as her newly forming feelings for the man next to her.


End file.
